Listen Girlfriends!

13 Jul 2014

This Simple Statement about Sexual Assault Should Be Repeated to Every Young Male Everywhere

Today the cover story of the New York Times was about a young woman’s harrowing story on how her university mishandled her rape case. You can read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/13/us/how-one-college-handled-a-sexual-assault-complaint.html?comments#permid=12270511:12276169

I wrote a comment outlining how it is irresponsible and lazy to blame alcohol for sexual assault, when we know that the vast majority of young men drink and hook up but do not rape. Not to mention that the 90-95% of rapes are committed by about 4% of men, who commit an average of SIX rapes each. You can read more about THAT here: http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/

A commenter named Clem wrote this beautiful response to my comment that I thought needed to be shared. Her point needs to be reiterated again and again in prevention programs for young men.

"Amen. 20% of women are raped in college, but 20% of college men are *not* rapists. Most rapes are committed by a small number of serial recidivists who have learned exactly how to get away with it - know the victim, get her drunk, destroy her credibility.

The vast majority of men - who do not rape - need to *stop* sheltering the men who do. When someone tells you a story about the things they did to someone who was passed out or incapacitated, this is not a time to high-five your bro. This is a rapist, bragging to you about an unconscionable crime.

When you tolerate this kind of thing - or when you all agree that women all lie about rape - or when you say “bros before hos” and cover for someone - or when you dismiss accusers because ‘women be crazy’ - or when you show more concern for the boys whose lives will be ruined by an accusation than the women whose lives are ruined by an assault - or when you treat a woman who has been victimized as if *she* and not her rapist is the one dirtied by the crime - or when imply that women ‘have it coming’ for drinking, or dressing a certain way, or flirting, or going to the wrong frat house - or when you say that rape is only ‘real’ rape when it’s a stranger with a knife….. You are complicit. You are making sure that that small percentage of men who are rapists are able to blend into the herd, shame and silence their victims, get away with it, and do it again, and again, and again.”

Preach. I personally think the missing link here is the lack of men who are willing to be ostracized by breaking the ‘bro code’ of silence. Once we can empower young men to SPEAK UP, I guarantee we will see a rapid shift in culture.

11 Jul 2014

Anonymous said: Were you saying that a male strip club is the “false equivalent.” of hooters? or that the male Cahones grill thing was a “false equivalent.” of Hooters? (Not trying to start a fight or anything, just interested in your opinion.)

Hi! I was saying the male strip club is a false equivalent to Hooters, because a male strip club is like a female strip club, whereas Hooters is a restaurant in which sexism is normalized in our culture.

24 Jun 2014

Must watch interview with Abby Martin on an Iraqi perspective the corporate media doesn’t want you to hear.

(Source: youtube.com)

16 Jun 2014

The bell hooks Hotline: For when an aggressive dude is asking for your number and won’t take no as an answer. 
call this number: 669-221-6251Read this article: http://thehairpin.com/2014/06/the-bell-hooks-hotline-for-when-youd-rather-not-give-out-your-number/

The bell hooks Hotline: For when an aggressive dude is asking for your number and won’t take no as an answer.

call this number: 669-221-6251

Read this article: http://thehairpin.com/2014/06/the-bell-hooks-hotline-for-when-youd-rather-not-give-out-your-number/

16 Jun 2014

““I don’t think there’s any such thing as male objectification. I think that word exists only with women because there are societal pressures for them to behave a certain way and to look a certain way. Someone put it to me once: Women are sex objects and men are success objects. That was really interesting to me.” -Joe Manganiello”

16 Jun 2014

Anonymous said: why do you say that the male hooters thing is a false equivalence?

Great question! Because even though there are male strip clubs, male objectification is not normalized the way it is for women daily in our culture. If it was normalized, then we would have restaurants where people would go every day where men are objectified (like Hooters). So to equate the two just does not make sense, you know.

Here’s a great article that expands on these themes further: http://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/rape-culture-men-women-power/

Also, this article is great: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarettwieselman/joe-manganiello-is-putting-true-blood-behind-him

Peace :)

14 Jun 2014

Someone had to say it.

Someone had to say it.

14 Jun 2014

Oh Seventte, how far you’ve fallen.

Oh Seventte, how far you’ve fallen.

14 Jun 2014

When it comes to objectification, this is a great example of why comparing male strip clubs to Hooters is a “false equivalent.”
p.s. I saw this on FB and it wasn’t cited, but just found out this was also posted on tumblr several months ago by shatteredjunk.tumblr.com. Given the huge amount of notes this has gotten it seems like this needed to be posted again instead of just reblogged.

When it comes to objectification, this is a great example of why comparing male strip clubs to Hooters is a “false equivalent.”

p.s. I saw this on FB and it wasn’t cited, but just found out this was also posted on tumblr several months ago by shatteredjunk.tumblr.com. Given the huge amount of notes this has gotten it seems like this needed to be posted again instead of just reblogged.

14 Jun 2014

Here’s an answer to the question “Why Don’t survivors go to the police?”

Here’s an answer to the question “Why Don’t survivors go to the police?”